(to be sung to the tune of 'Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy', with apologies to Mercury)

I can blink the lights and cat you files full of sad things
We can play xpilot just for two
I can serenade and gently play all your ogg files
Be your 'pache server just for you

Ooh box - ooh linux box
What're you runnin' tonight, hey box?
Begin to boot, log in as root
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned linux box

Ooh let me send a heartbeat (ping faster, faster)
Ooh ooh can you feel my proc load?
Come on and type in my console of love
And tell me how do you want me to rwall?
I'd like for you and I to go compiling
Write the code - your wish is my command

Ooh box - ooh linux box
What're you runnin' tonight, hey box?
Write my makefile, cross-compile,
And use my fancy syntax on the CVS.

When you're not logged in
I run for you always
Jobs nohup'd
When you're not logged in
ssh to me always
Love you - love you

Hey box where do you get it from?
Hey box what do you run?
I learned my passion in the good old
Fashioned school of linux box.

[instrumental]

Gaming at the LAN we'll meet at nine precisely
(One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock)
No need to reboot, just load up wine.
Fragging them in style in your new skin will do quite nicely
Just take me back to yours that will be fine (Come on and get it)

Ooh box,
(There he goes again)
Ooh linux box,
(There's my good old-fashioned linux box)
What're you runnin' tonight, hey box?
Begin to boot, log in as root
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned (fashioned) linux box.